Codebreaking

In any close relationship, you develop a code that lets you communicate politely even when you would like to strangle the other person.  It's a delicate art, but necessary for the long term stability of the pairing.

For the last couple of days, I have had flu with fever, chills, aches and the lot.  I blame the children.  It's the kind of ague that would have kept me out of the office.  Now that I'm at home with the kids, that's not an option.  However, it did spark our first "code" conversation of the morning.

C: "If you're so sick you need me to say home from work, just let me know"
      "Please don't ask"
Me: (sceptical) "You could stay home from work?"
                          "Yeah, right..." 
C: "Not really, I've got this thing and this other thing and a very important lunch."
     "I don't want to stay home"
Me: Nods head
        "I kind of want to die, but you go right on ahead."

Our second code conversation happened as I was trying to get out the door to get Miss A to nursery.

Me on the phone: "Darling, have you seen my keys?"
                             "Can you check your pockets as I'm pretty sure you have both sets of keys?"
C: "I haven't... Oh, wait... They're in my pocket..."
     "Dammit, I'm going to miss my train..."
Me: "Seriously?"
         "This is like the third time you've done this.  Why do you keep taking all the keys?!?"
C: "I'll come home..."
     "Why can't you just magic up a spare set or call a locksmith or something?"
Me: "OK, hurry, please."
        "We are already running late because I've been tearing the house apart looking for my keys.  I may need to kill you."
C: "It was an honest mistake, you shouldn't get mad at me."
     "I refuse to be held accountable for not paying attention to how many sets of keys I have in my pockets."
Me: Deep breath
       "Scratch the 'may'..."
       
I can't wait to see what we find to talk about tonight.